my preface to this pair of stories is the confession that one of my duties of my part time day gig is selling some of the most exquisite and creative wedding invitations i have ever seen. through this, i have become ultra cognizant of the scope of the wedding industry, and it is one of the few places that a high quality of craftwork and artistry is still encouraged and readily paid for by regular everyday people. weddings employ florists, printers, seamstresses/tailors, designers, caterers, musicians…ice sculptors, for cryin’ out loud. on a personal level: my gigs as a wedding singer when i lived in NYC did help pay for my CD production.

that said…

earlier this summer, i found myself in a rental car with my boyfriend zooming across the Cascade Mountains in Washington State. we were en route to a remote lodge where i would see the youngest of my siblings get married. he had found a beautiful match in his bride. i knew this the first time i met her a couple of years back, when we stayed overnight with them. they spoke the same language, shared values, tastes, and seemed calm with one another. he looked so happy whenever he looked at her. she was kind, sweet, soft-spoken, and obviously loved him to pieces. i hoped for the best…

well, the “best” happened when we got to the lodge. the doors opened onto a scene of busy bees: there were young women covering folding chairs with white fabric; another couple was draping an arbor-like arch with white Christmas lights. my older brother was in the background, documenting the preparations with his camera. the future in laws were busy making meals and dessert in the main kitchen. as i rolled my suitcase through, i found my brother chopping peppers for breakfast omelettes in another kitchen area.

my older brother had stopped at the farmer’s market on the way to the  wedding and picked up many bundles of local wildflowers. the bridesmaids were busy sorting these into piles – daisies in one, then blue lupines, red poppies – these would become the arrangements for the wedding ceremony as well as the bouquets.

it was an assembly line for a do-it-yourself wedding, assembled with love and joy by friends and family.

even their ceremony was DIY. there wasn’t even a minister. the couple wrote and made their own vows to each other. they even sang a song, each specially chosen, to each other. all the attendants had something personal and moving to share about the couple, and the sincerity of everyone’s affection was apparent. i cried buckets of joy for my little bro and my new sister.

then, tonight, on the last day of july:

my boyfriend and i attended another wedding party for some dear friends. their approach was even simpler. some weeks before, they had gone to city hall to do the deed. tonight, they celebrated with friends.  no invitations (just an Evite), no flowers – the bride even baked the desserts and cakes herself – and a circle of the groom’s musician friends gifted the couple with impromptu love songs and music. the bride and groom were relaxed and happy, grateful for the chance to have their dearest friends together in one place so they could simply enjoy each other’s company and share their good news.

it was a humble celebration, but it sure felt luxurious.

now, i’m not suggesting the downfall of the wedding world as we know it. in these lean times, any industry that still does consistent business and employs armies of people is a good thing. but it’s amazing how complicated modern weddings can get, how the pressures of the gala can obscure the fact that that the celebration day is really a launch of the couple’s life together.

these two weddings were both simple, yet beautiful – and one felt that by just attending, you were actually passing a blessing  – though i’m not Jewish, the closest word i can think of is mitzvah – along to the couple for their union.

in these stripped down celebrations, it was easy for me to feel the rays of blessing that our communities and circles of friends would feel as a result of these two couples coming together and choosing devotion to each other for the rest of their lives.

love lives simply if you let it.

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