The year is coming to an end. My befuddled little head spins at the events and change that whizzed by in 2010. A respectable amount of success, good for the soul. Other difficult milestones, rough on the heart. Enough of each to spur a positive shift in attitude and questions about this path.

Lost some friends this year for various reasons. Perhaps I did not prioritize my attentions well. Or perhaps I was mistaken about the strength of those connections, much as it hurts to realize this.
The anti-pain: to realize that new friendships have taken root and beckon regardless of geographical distance or time zone.

Creatively, quite happy about the number of opportunities this year. Proud of a few projects that went quite well with much blood, sweat, cussing, and eventual glee. Some surprise sources of income at the end of this year feel like reminders to keep faith.

Grateful, always grateful, to have encouragement from people I respect and seek counsel from. I note my lack of a mentor – something I crave at this point in my efforts – but wonder if I have allowed myself to see who that person, or who those people, may be.

Tonight is my last night spent in my Manhattan flat. For the past three years I have felt a bit like an urban Persephone – shuttling from sunshine and sea air to electric-lit concrete canyons. Each place has been a respite from the other. I wonder if the real key is to find peace and opportunity wherever I land.

There is a theory I refer to often that suggests you follow your fear, let it lead you to the next steps in your true path. That when you approach a challenge that will take you to the next level, you feel the most fear and resistance. I am freaked out, after three years of a long bicoastal goodbye, to be saying a real farewell to my favorite city on the planet. I hope this is a signal that hard yet rewarding work is dead ahead.

These are the questions whose answers I chase in a sunset direction.

Happy new year my friends! May your journeys lead to terror, adventure and reward as well!

With love,
Celia

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